so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
