I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
