very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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