ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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