I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
