I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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