the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize