how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
