honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Life is so much better after having sex.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
