Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
