Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
