Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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