It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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