Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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