I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It's official drugs can't kill me
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
