The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I will be naked everywhere
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
