That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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