if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
being pregnant is like rehab
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
