Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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