i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
