wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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