His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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