Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Jerry, you need to find god
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
