I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
