Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
