so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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