PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
