"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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