Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
