I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
