Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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