I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
