Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Watching her eat just hurts me
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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