hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize
