just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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