My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize