Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
