Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
