i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize