No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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