do herpes really smell.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
