awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
