My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
