he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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