i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
