White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
