so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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