I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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