I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
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