went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
