Ambien. No doubt about it.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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