There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
