is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
