it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
