i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i was born a porn star she said
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
