I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
