I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
