I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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