You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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