he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
